April 18, 2013 in Content Marketing, Marketing, Media Relations, Public Relations by Mike Drago
RANT: Vague Language is the Scourge of Marketing and Public Relations

shutterstock_121137493“We the human capital of the United States, in order to facilitate a cutting-edge, best-of-breed convergence of revenue-generating entities, actualize Justice, insure scalable domestic Tranquility, provide for the interdependent interfacing of defensive capabilities, promote mutually beneficial functionality in the North American market space, and secure the Blessings of harmonized, re-engineered culture to ourselves and our Posterity, do conceptualize and cultivate this Constitution for the United States of America.”

Let us bow our heads and give thanks that Gouverneur Morris, the Founding Father credited with writing the preamble to the United States Constitution, was a far better writer than many of today’s marketers. Otherwise, millions upon millions of children would never have been able to memorize the preamble in grade school – much less understand it – and the Union might never had held together.

A Confession and a Theory

I have a confession: Vague language drives me bonkers. And ever since I made the jump to Internet marketing firms after a long career in newspapers, I have puzzled on this question: Why is so much business writing mind-numbingly obtuse? I developed an armchair theory. Vague language is high art in business because a negotiation is a courtship of adversaries, and ambiguity is necessary to avoid driving off the other party before you have time to draw him in. We marketers have simply gotten lazy and adopted it.

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April 30, 2012 in Media Relations, Public Relations by Clay Zeigler
ADVICE: Lead Writing and The ‘Hey, Mike’ Rule

The hardest part of any writing assignment is the first part. That first sentence is where most writers struggle, whether it’s a news release or a news story, a memo to a client or a note to the boss. It’s the first thing out of your mouth; and it has to be good. It’s also where people will lose interest if you fail to grab their attention. So, what do you do?

First, use The “Hey, Mike” Rule. It’s named for Mike Simmons, my right-hand man when I found myself running a newsroom at 27. Mike worked a lot with young reporters who were covering nighttime meetings of city councils and school boards. They’d come back to the paper and find Mike to tell him what happened. While their explanations to Mike were clear and concise, they wrote some of the most convoluted leads imaginable.

These were sharp guys who worked hard, but the problem persisted. So I made a rule, The “Hey, Mike” Rule. Every lead in the newspaper had to read like it could be preceded by the words, “Hey, Mike… .” And it worked. Following is a re-creation that will help you get the idea.

BEFORE: The Pasadena City Council voted Monday night to continue to explore with a consulting firm the benefits of converting the 6.2-acre site of the defunct Gilley’s honkytonk on Spencer Highway into a retail space for a major tenant.

AFTER: City officials are still trying to take Walmart to Gilley’s.

Leads Should Grab Attention and Focus It

Great leads aren’t just about brevity. Sometimes the most memorable thing about a situation is a detail. If it’s truly compelling, don’t be afraid to use it in a lead. Look at this gem from Scott Goldstein of The Dallas Morning News:

A 12-year-old boy barely as tall as the judge’s bench pleaded guilty Tuesday to aggravated robbery in exchange for up to seven years in juvenile prison in connection with the killing of a man pushed into a moving DART train last year.

You can just see that kid, can’t you? I only wish the lead was shorter so the reader could focus longer on that image. That’s because (ultimately) what we want from leads is focus. Give the reader something to focus on and make it something they care about. A great reporter once told me any great story is about money, sex or power. If you’ve got one of those cards, play it.

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