Editor’s note: Comedian Sabrina Jalees and I go waaaay back, to the much smaller blogosphere of 2005. We still keep in touch and Sabrina kindly agreed to contribute an occasional post to Media Orchard. Here, she provides lessons on marketing yourself, Real Housewives-style.

Spin-offs of The Real Housewives of Orange County have been popping up like Starbucks locations — from New Jersey to Dallas, Miami to Vancouver. While David E. Kelly slaves over creating believable dialogue in his latest series, Bravo’s found a foolproof formula:

Wine + Oversharing Rich Ladies = Ratings.

Of course if the formula were that simple, my web series “Watch Me Drink Chardonnay And Shop Online” would have cracked the 12-hit mark. The reality is, the Real Housewives are doing a lot of things right.

They may be a bunch of loud-mouthed, privileged, liquored-up drama queens…but miraculously, they’ve got us right where they want us. All the eye-rolling in the world can’t trump one undeniable fact: these ladies know how to engage an audience.

Coming to a City Near You?

If my Starbucks analogy is on point (and my analogies are famous for their accuracy), within a few years, there’ll be an R.H. series for every city. Hey, maybe even two for some cities; in New York, The Real Housewives of The Upper East Side can face off for ratings against The Real Housewives of Chinatown. Dumplings will be thrown, lawyers will be called.

Since the demand for housewives is about to hit the mansion’s roof, I want you, dear reader, to be prepared.

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