September 24, 2006 in Brand Strategy, Media Orchard, Naming and Logos by Scott Baradell
True: The Official Dating Service for Photoshopped Strippers


Top-heavily Photoshopped strippers, to be specific.

 
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August 9, 2006 in Media Orchard, Naming and Logos by Scott Baradell
An Honest Face?

(This came to us in an e-mail from Cathy’s mom; we’re not sure of the original source.)

 
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July 28, 2006 in Media Orchard, Naming and Logos, Picks by Scott Baradell
Pick of the Orchard 7.28.06


We’re feeling a little sentimental tonight, so we’re gonna give it up for our former guest host and No. 1 commenter (in terms of volume, certainly not quality) — Bill Green.

 
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July 14, 2006 in Brand launches, Brand Strategy, Media Orchard, Naming and Logos by Scott Baradell
Before You Brand, Check the URL

From WeirdTechNewsHub via Fark, the 10 Worst URL Flops are:

1. www.whorepresents.com
2. www.expertsexchange.com
3. www.penisland.net
4. www.therapistfinder.com
5. www.powergenitalia.com
6. www.molestationnursery.com
7. www.ipanywhere.com
8. www.cummingfirst.com
9. www.speedofart.com
10. www.gotahoe.com

Never underestimate the importance of due diligence in branding.

 
July 13, 2006 in Brand launches, Media Orchard, Naming and Logos by Scott Baradell
Nelly Furtado: Promiscuity Sells

ABC News covers the transformation of Nelly Furtado from earnest songstress to flesh-flaunting grinder. For those with the genetic goods (think Jessica Simpson and before her, Jewel), it’s a well-traveled road.

ABC asked Ronn Torossian about the evolution of Furtado and other pop singers. His thoughts:

“In a world of iPods and Xboxes, where people have increasingly short attention spans, artists must constantly evolve to be remembered 10, 20, 50 years from now … And the way the music industry is going these days, artists are not relying on album sales but are trying to turn their name into a brand.”

We can’t say there’s no truth to Ronn’s words. But speaking of artists who will be remembered 50 years from now, Bob Dylan spoke a deeper truth in this old interview with Kurt Loder:

KL: Mick Jagger seems to jump around onstage a bit too much, don’t you think?

BD: I love Mick Jagger. I mean, I go back a long ways with him, and I always wish him the best. But to see him jumping around like he does … It’s still hipper and cooler to be Ray Charles, sittin’ at the piano, not movin’ shit. And still getting across, you know? Pushing rhythm and soul across. It’s got nothin’ to do with jumping around. I mean, what could it possibly have to do with jumping around?

KL: Showbiz?

BD: I don’t know. Showbiz — well, I don’t dig it. I don’t go to see someone jump around. I hate to see chicks perform. Hate it.

KL: Why?

BD: Because they whore themselves. Especially the ones that don’t wear anything. They f—–’ whore themselves.

Or as Sabrina Jalees wrote in one of our all-time favorite newspaper columns, on the Saugeen Stripper case:

Not to get all “I’m-burning-my-bra” on you here but if you don’t wanna blame the girl or the Smirnoff you can go knock on old Mama-Big-Media’s door. But make sure you keep knocking for a while, she’s very busy … making whores! The media were occupied glorifying humiliatingly ho-ish female behaviour and packaging it as “liberation” long before Christina Aguilera learned her first word (which was “g-string”). As a result of these efforts, we are now living in the Era of Skank.

Welcome to it, Nelly.

 
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