ADVICE: A Gentle Tongue Can Break a Bone

A ruler can be persuaded through patience,
and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

– Proverbs 22:4

I’ve never been the loud, brash, in-your-face type. As a child, I was naturally shy — to the point where I was afraid to answer the front door of our house. I was introspective … always drawing, writing, thinking.

Seems like a recipe for becoming a librarian, an actuary or a taxidermist (Norman Bates, anyone?). But instead, I ended up a newspaper reporter and, ultimately, a PR executive and spokesman for billion-dollar companies. I present to Fortune 1000 executives, speak to large audiences, and talk with classes of college students all the time.

So, did I change? Not really.

I say this to offer hope to those of you who are afraid you don’t have the “outgoing personality” you need to succeed in public relations. Frankly, the PR field has too many surface smiles and surface thinkers, and not enough going on underneath. That’s something we introverts can use to our advantage.

Introverts vs. Extroverts

Let me explain what I mean by an introvert. An introvert is not someone who can’t do well with an audience. Many of the world’s best actors, musicians and other performers are introverts. They do it because they love their work — not because they love the crowds.

An extravert starts with the love of the crowd and works backward. What do I need to do to capture their attention?

An introvert starts with the love of the work and moves outward. What do I need to do to share this work with others?

In PR, extraverts are a dime a dozen. They’re the ones who get off to fast starts in their careers, who seek out every opportunity to gladhand and namedrop, who learn a little about a lot of things and a lot of people. They spread themselves around and gauge their success by how many people they know (or appear to know.)

Introverts are the ones who actually find their employer’s or client’s business model fascinating. They take the time to study the company in depth; to understand the competition; to know what marketing strategies are working and not working in the space, and why. They’re the ones who aren’t satisfied with glib answers.

They’re also the ones who have better long-term potential to form relationships of mutual respect with journalists and other influencers — not to mention the CEOs of the companies they serve.

Share What’s Inside

Talk to your clients and the media honestly, knowledgeably and with a genuine interest in your subject matter, and you don’t have to be loud to have influence. A gentle tongue can break a bone.

The key for introverts is to recognize this and to fight through their shyness to let others know what they have to say. To borrow another proverb from the Bible, don’t hide your light under a bushel. You’ve got a lot of talent to give; you just have to know where to put it.

Tags: extraverts, introverts, pr