By Reggie Baradell

I TOLD you he was a coward!

I've asked Daddy -- I mean "the president" -- to buy me this so I can work off my frustration.

And I guess I should look on the bright side; I've made a new friend, just in case I ever decide to dump Daddy -- I mean "the president" -- and trade up for somebody a little more ambitious.

By Reggie Baradell

Michael Vick's PR handlers have picked the Tom Joyner Morning Show for his mea not-so culpa on Tuesday for the same reason that the White House media relations team invariably taps Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh for the much-loathed Dick Cheney's rare media appearances: The loyal-to-a-fault base is the last refuge of publicists.

If you doubt that Vick will meet an overly friendly audience on Tuesday, check this news article excerpt from Joyner's BlackAmericaWeb.com site:

Syracuse University professor and author Dr. Boyce Watkins believes Vick will maintain his "hero" status, just as others have done after facing charges. "Being banned by white America does not always mean that black America will hate you as much," Watkins told BlackAmericaWeb.com. "We've seen it with O.J."

Oh, and there's also this commentary on Joyner's site:

The feds didn't go after Vick because of his race, but the court of public opinion is a far different matter ... Vick is as much a victim of the ugly passions of the times as for his crimes.

And then there's the other commentary, headlined "Is It Me, or Has the Embattled Michael Vick Been Singled Out for Selective Prosecution?"

Finally, there's the matter of the poll on Joyner's site, in which 35 percent of respondents say that Vick is being treated worse because he's black (and an additional 17 percent say he's being treated worse because he's a celebrity.)

As a dog myself (a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, specifically), I would just remind Vick loyalists that there are no more loyal creatures on God's earth than dogs -- like the ones Vick exploited for his own purposes, then callously hanged and electrocuted.

Word to the wise.

Or, as I would tell anyone who got within 10 feet of Vick: Arf! Arf Arf!

Now, to the Four Talking Points.

Many of you may not know this, since I am not on the Idea Grove's leadership page, but I am actually a principal of the agency. I handle all the client accounts that daddy -- I mean the president -- considers "dogs." (I'm assuming he means that as the highest compliment.)

As such, I know a thing or two about damage control ... er, that is, crisis communications ... I mean, reputation management.

Arf it! You get the idea. So anyhow, here are the Four Talking Points I've developed -- in conjunction with Vick's defense team -- for his Joyner appearance:

1. I love dogs.

Or, to quote the defense offered by Deion Sanders: "Some people let their dogs eat from their plate. Some people dress their dogs in suits more expensive than mine ... And some people enjoy proving they have the biggest, toughest dog on the street ... I bet Vick loves the dogs that were the biggest and the baddest."

2. I am too loyal to my friends.

This is an appeal that can resonate with many middle-class African-Americans who rose from difficult circumstances. As Tonyaa Weathersbee correctly puts it, "The one transgression that trips up many black people who find overnight wealth and fame [is] bad association" -- being overly loyal to questionable characters from the 'hood, rather than dropping them as dead weight on the climb to the top. (We're assuming Joyner won't ask Vick about Vick's estranged father, who says that Vick is the mastermind behind the whole operation.)

3. Deer-hunting and greyhound races are wrong, too.

As NBA player Stephon Marbury phrased this defense: "We don't say anything about people shooting deers and shooting other animals. You know what I mean? From what I hear, dog-fighting is a sport ... There is no list for which animals should be killed and which shouldn't."

Or to quote Derrick Z. Jackson of the Boston Globe: "The national outrage rings a bit hollow ... Vick will be shamed with prison stripes. Greyhound racing, despite its primitive exploitation of dogs, remains a $2 billion business..."

4. I will make things right.

Here Vick can go almost Imus on us. Just like Imus said, "I can come back and create a dialogue. There ought to be a black person on this show every day to add perspective," Vick can say, "I plan to devote myself to animal welfare to make things right."

It didn't work for Imus -- but then again, Imus went on Al Sharpton's radio show -- not David Duke's.

So there you have it.

See what I mean by a mea not-so culpa? This strategy has worked like a charm for the Bush Administration for seven years, so why not? Apologies are for wimps.

I don't know about you, but I think they're going to eat it up on Tuesday.

Kind of like I sometimes eat the cat's poo-poo when daddy -- I mean the president -- isn't looking.

Labels: dogfighting, Michael Vick, sports, Tom Joyner

We can't vouch that these are genuine pictures from inside Mattel's PR war room -- but they look real enough.







We also imagine Tom Forsythe is somewhere enjoying a Bargarita and allowing himself a wry grin.

Black Star photographer John Harrington penned a post that has erupted into a Comment Battle Royale on Black Star Rising between pro and amateur photographers.

John tells Flickrites and other long-tailers that their eagerness to sell any picture they take for jelly beans could ultimately destroy the livelihood of working pros. He advises them to either charge professional rates for their work -- or simply give the work away.

The debate over John's advice gets pretty heated in comments -- and really applies to any profession affected by the Long Tail. Check it out.

We just wanted to give some props to Daily Stab, a gossip blog by Kelly and her hubby that has been quickly climbing the charts since its debut in February 2007. It's currently ranked #70 on the Dirt 100. We're also fortunate to have Kelly as a regular contributor to Spin Thicket.

One of the first things a good corporate communications exec explains to his or her CEO is that the communications department -- not the legal department -- should direct all important communications to the public.

While this might seem like a no-brainer to those of you who have never worked in a corporate environment, the reality is that it can be a constant battle to protect the communications function's strategic role -- particularly in times of crisis, when the lawyers start to get panicky.

As I've explained before, corporate attorneys are trained to shield themselves and their clients against risk. But sometimes, you have to take on a little risk to succeed in business -- and specifically, in talking to the public.

When a company makes the ultimate PR mistake by saying "No comment," for example, there's usually a risk-averse lawyer, not a PR person, to blame. When Exxon committed one of the worst PR mistakes in history by not sending its CEO immediately to the scene of the Valdez oil spill, lawyers -- not PR people -- were behind the decision.

Now, in our post-modern PR world, cautious companies face even greater risks from attorney-driven PR. That's because corporate legal letters, intended to be private, are increasingly ending up online -- effectively turning your lawyer's most formal (and often snippy) communications into your brand's public persona.

I'm reminded of this by an interesting little online battle between two photo scanning companies, ScanCafe and DigMyPics. DigMyPics has chosen to aggressively attack its competitor, claiming that ScanCafe intentionally downplays the fact that it ships customers' "one-of-kind photos" to India for processing, among other charges.

DigMyPics' PR strategy is one I would never recommend. For one thing, it kind of gives me the same queasy feeling as those "American Owned" signs at roadside motels. And from a marketing standpoint, negative attacks generally hurt both brands involved.

That said, I'm not a fan of ScanCafe's response, either. The response has been to ignore the attacks, even though they pop up on the first page of ScanCafe's Google results and are surely a hot gossip topic in the photo-scanning space. Instead, ScanCafe has taken what it calls the "high road" by making no public statements.

It has, however, sent some pointed legal letters to DigMyPics -- which DigMyPics immediately posted online. This has effectively enabled DigMyPics to frame the dispute and to present itself as the straight-talking defender of the consumer in its battle against ScanCafe, its offshore scanners, and its "lawyer talk."

Here's the lesson for marketers:

In 2007, you must understand that your legal letters are now part of your marketing and PR program, because people will post them online. So while they aren't intended to become part of a public battle, they can and will be used against you.

In the absence of other voices, legal letters become the spokesperson for your organization by default -- which is never good.

A better option would be for ScanCafe to use its CEO blog to address the issues (and non-issues) raised by its competitor. Frankly, I think ScanCafe could turn DigMyPics' arguments around pretty effectively if it tried -- and wouldn't have to lose the "high ground" by simply defending itself.

One friend I'm fortunate to have made through blogging is Bryce Zabel, an avid blogger on movies and other topics who also happens to be a successful Hollywood screenwriter and the former head of the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. (Read my interview with Bryce from sometime back.)

Bryce has turned his Movie Smackdown blog -- which has fun comparing new releases with older films -- into a group thing, and I'll be contributing whenever I can.

In fact, I posted my very first Smackdown today. Check it out.