One day this here C-List Blogger got all worked up thinkin' 'bout how that ole A-List Blogger had been cuttin' up his capers, bouncing 'round till he'd come to believe he was the boss of the whole dadgum blogosphere. The C-List Blogger decided to lay some bait for that big-timin' A-List Blogger.

He got some tar and mixed it with some turpentine, fixed up a contraption that he called an Attack Post. When he finished makin' it, he put a straw hat on its head and sat the little thing in the middle of Memeorandum. The C-List Blogger, he lay off in the bushes to see what would happen.

Well, he didn't have to wait long, 'cause by and by the A-List Blogger came pacing down the road -- lippity-clippity, clippity-lippity -- just as sassy as a jaybird. The A-List Blogger came prancing along until he saw the Attack Post and then he sat back on his hind legs like he was astonished. The Attack Post jus' sat there, it did, and the C-List Blogger, he lay low.

"Good morning!" says the A-List Blogger, says he. Attack Post didn't say a word, and the C-List Blogger, he lay low.

"What is the matter with you then? Are you deaf?" says the A-List Blogger, says he. "I'm going to teach you how to talk to respectable folk. If you don't take off that hat and say howdy, I'm going to bust you wide open."

Attack Post kept on saying nothin' till the A-List Blogger finally drew back his fist, he did, and pow -- he hit that Attack Post on the jaw. But his fist stuck and he couldn't pull it loose. The tar held him.

"If you don't let me loose, I'm going to hit you again," says the A-List Blogger, says he, and with that he drew back his other fist and pow -- he hit the Attack Post with the other hand and that one stuck fast, too.

"Turn me loose, before I kick the natural stuffing out of you," says the A-List Blogger, says he, but the Attack Post jus' sat there. Then the A-List Blogger jumped it with both his feet. Then the A-List Blogger yelled out that if that Attack Post didn't turn him loose, he was going to butt it crank-sided. Then he butted it and his head got stuck.

The C-List Blogger walked out from behind the bushes and strolled over to the A-List Blogger, lookin' innocent as a mockingbird.

"Howdy, A-List Blogger," says the C-List Blogger, says he. "You look sort of stuck up this morning," says he. And he rolled on the ground and laughed and laughed until he couldn't laugh no more.

By and by he said, "Well, I expect I got you this time, A-List Blogger," says he. "Look at all those comments agreeing with me about Attack Post, and all those inbound links to Attack Post, and how Attack Post got you all flabbergasted and brought you down a notch or two. You've been prancin' 'round this old blogosphere a might long time, but now it's the end. I'm goin' to be the new A-List Blogger in this here brier patch."

Then the A-List Blogger started talking mighty humble.

"I don't care what you do with me, C-List Blogger," says he, "Just so you don't write a 'NUTHER post about me. Roast me, hang me, leave me here stuck to this Attack Post -- but please don't write a 'NUTHER post about me."

Of course, the C-List Blogger wanted to get the A-List Blogger as bad as he could, so he caught him by the behind legs and slung him off the Attack Post so he could write a 'NUTHER post about the A-List Blogger.

There was a considerable flutter when the A-List Blogger struck the bushes, and by and by the C-List Blogger heard someone call his name. Way up on Technorati Hill, he saw the A-Lister sitting cross-legged on a chinquapin log combin' the remains of the Attack Post out of his hair with a chip. The C-Lister knew he had been tricked.

A-List Blogger hollered out, "Born with links, bred with links. I was born and bred with inbound links jus' like the one you gave me!"

And with that he skipped out just as lively as a cricket in the embers of a fire.

Labels: Marketing Views, Memeorandum, Technorati