Actually, if you don’t mind, let’s try something else.

See, we generally will not click on a list-based blog post anymore, so if you didn’t click on this one for that reason, we don’t blame you. (If you did click on this because of the list, bear with us for a moment.)

Lists are about the surest indicator of a lazy mind you will find online these days — like bulging, vacant eyes are the surest sign of a sociopath.

But since you came here for a list, we’ll give you two:

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4 Reasons Bloggers Like Lists

1. You can write a list without knowing how to write. No need to organize your thoughts into a natural narrative flow. No need to build momentum around a thesis. Any idiot can put two sentences (or in this case, three sentences) together and then go on to the number 2.

2. Lists confer an authority you don’t really have. It’s great to read a post from a 19-year-old Digger who says there are “8 Ways” to do anything. Let’s be clear: There are eight ways that you know of, or think you know of, because your Mommy, Daddy, and your geek buddies told you about them. The other 57 ways, you have no clue about. Oh, and by the way, six of your eight ways are simplistic bullshit, and the other two ways, everybody with two brain cells to rub together already knows.

3. Blog lists require an equal balance of verbal and math skills. For example, the ability to count to 10 is fairly commensurate with the verbal wherewithal needed to compose most 10-point blog lists. So if your head hurts after writing up 7 points, that’s your little brain telling you to stop there.

4. Blog readers like them.

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4 Reasons Blog Readers Like Lists

1. They can be skimmed easily. Most people don’t read this part of the entry; they just read the bolded title, “They can be skimmed easily,” and move on to number 2. Reading this far probably means you’re either really bored or that you received a perfect score on the reading comprehension portion of the SAT. Congratulations.

2. You can stop at any time. Many people get confused trying to follow a person’s idea from one paragraph to the next. Each point in a list is self-contained, so you can stop at any time without getting disoriented or light-headed.

3. Lists make you think the blogger knows what he’s talking about. The blogger’s “8 Ways to Make Money Online with a Digital Camera and Your Girlfriend” follows in the rich tradition of Moses’ 10 Commandments and Woodrow Wilson’s 14 Points. This is true even though six of the “8 ways” are bullshit, and the other two ways, everybody with two brain cells to rub together already knows. Which brings us to number 4.

4. Lists tell you things you already know. And who doesn’t get a little ego boost from that?