We know -- most people would rather watch paint dry. But given Andrea and Bill's "Where's Scott" contest, we figured we'd share some pics from our recent journeys.

Cathy and I were married last April, but a series of personal catastrophes -- and I don't use the word lightly -- forced us to delay the honeymoon for a full year. The trip was 16 days in the U.K. and Italy, with visits to London, Rome, Sorrento and Positano. In Rome, we stood among the throngs at St. Peter's on Easter Sunday. In Positano, we overlooked the bay from the Hotel Marincanto, which is built into the cliffs; even the jacuzzi hung over the shore below.

All in all, a dream honeymoon -- even though Cathy did have to spend one night in an Italian hospital with food poisoning. (Watch out for the pepperoni.)


Thanks to fellow PR blogger Mason Cole for some great travel tips. And of course, thanks again to guest bloggers Andrea and Bill, who saved the day for me after Cathy forbade me to bring my trusty HP Pavilion zd8000 on the trip.

Now ... if you actually do like to look at pictures from other people's vacations, you can view them here.

While we were in London, we read about a VH1 poll in which a ho-hum line from U2's "One" ("One life, with each other, sisters, brothers") was voted the U.K.'s favorite song lyric of all-time.

It made us think about some of our own favorite lyrics. Here's one from Primitive Radio Gods:

And if I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days I lived awake
But half asleep?

I like the Whopper, f*** the Big Mac.

We hadn't been to London in many years, so we were gratified that so many of the beautiful things we remembered about the city hadn't changed at all.

Of course, some things have changed. Perhaps most disturbingly, Londoners are apparently turning to Rupert Murdoch's Page 3 Girls for their conservative political commentary these days.

Nineteen-year-old Ami, for example, states in the April 26 edition of The Sun that she is "outraged" that Tony Blair's government has allowed "so many foreign criminals ... to roam the streets instead of being deported."

In other recent editions, Becky, 24, complains that "the loans-for-peerages row has only made people question the work of the government more" and topless lesbians Beck and Mel weigh in on the ongoing sex scandal involving government official John Prescott.

Bloggerheads has the latest here and some background on Page 3 wonkery here. As the blog explains:

In Ye Olde Days, the topless models on Page 3 were accompanied by just enough insight and innuendo to allow the average reader to identify with the model ... Were the model training to be an accountant, the text would playfully refer to her "ample assets" and the "bottom line". Had she been a vet's assistant or even the owner of a small domestic animal, the caption would suggest that "She also brings the beast out in us, eh readers?"...

Under the new editor, Rebekah Wade, this changed. Pictures of Page 3 models were soon accompanied by a caption entitled "News in Briefs" ... With the new Page 3, they can deliver a highly focused and personalised editorial that sticks in the brain in a very personal and special way...

The central issue is the exploitation of these women -- and The Sun's readership -- in a way that not even Orwell could have imagined in his wettest dream.

As the worldwide blog leader in Melissa Theuriau news, Media Orchard's crack reporting team spotted two recent interviews of Melissa -- an article by Tele Loisirs and a video podcast by Le Podcasteur.

Unfortunately, both interviews are in French.

We tried Google's translator on the Tele Loisirs piece and got this:

Tele-leisures: You are very young. How did you fall into the bath from the presentation?

Melissa Theuriau: The antenna was offered to me, very naturally. However, I had never dreamed some. Three years ago, I worked with LCI, the desk, when Jean-Claude Dassier proposed to me to carry out tests. Here how, at 25 years, the shortly after my anniversary, I discovered the adrenalin of the direct one. Difficult to happen once from them that one tasted there!

Tele-leisures: How to explain this phenomenon of hysteria around your person?

Melissa Theuriau: It is the trap the tele one. The physique makes it possible to reach it. I know that all that belonged to the play. But I do not have the impression that the sexy adjective really sticks to my job. To be honest, that exceeds me completely. Never I would have thought that I would find myself as quickly and as much state as Laurence Ferrari and Claire Chazal. I try to make abstraction and to continue of it to work. I nevertheless took a lawyer to try to make close certain sites.

Tele-leisures: Etes you on the basic list to replace Claire Chazal or Laurence Ferrari, as one can read it a little everywhere?

Melissa Theuriau: As flattering as can be this kind of rumours, today, the answer is not. Perhaps that a day, I will have the desire and the ambition of it. I will be 28 years old. I do not want to explode in full vol. I would initially like to turn over on the ground to enrich my luggage and to still gain of credibility. Later, one will see!

From The Conservative Voice:

Kim Roberts, the victim's fellow dancer ... contacted 5W Public Relations, a New York firm that specializes in "crisis communication," who distributed an e-mail signed "The 2nd Dancer," and Roberts confirmed she sent it after learning the AP knew her identity.

"I've found myself in the center of one of the biggest stories in the country," she wrote. "I'm worried about letting this opportunity pass me by without making the best of it and was wondering if you had any advice as to how to spin this to my advantage."

"If this person is indeed who they say they are, I would be happy to speak with her," said [5W President Ronn] Torossian, whose firm has represented the likes of Sean "Diddy" Combs, Ice Cube and Lil' Kim.

While it is accurate that we have been approached by the individual who has identified herself as the 2nd dancer, we will not be representing her nor any sides in this issue. We were approached because of our experience in crisis communications. I have been asked why she contacted us -- My response: Anyone who is in the firing line of the media should contact a PR firm -- The media swarms are very intimidating and scary and people should always contact media experts before speaking with the media. One shouldn't file taxes without an accountant, enter a courtroom without a lawyer or speak to the media in a crisis situation without a PR firm.

OK, we're back. A bit jet-lagged, so we'll try to ease in with a Pick of the Orchard.

We owe Bill and Andrea our undying gratitude, but they'll have to settle for a T-shirt. We have M, L and XL ... plus a bonus gift. Let us know your size.

And Susan, we'll be sending a check to the Dallas SPCA in your honor -- because we missed our puppy and kitty very, very much.

Business Harmed by what it doesn't Understand (VicePR)
Scotland the most broadband connected in UK (Fark)
First Fortune 500 CEO Blogger: Jonathan Schwartz of Sun Microsystems (Relevant Noise)
Southwest Launches Corporate Blog, But Where's The CS? (Consumerist)
Snacky or Flacky: More PR hotties (valleywag)
Tarantino to direct Hendrix biopic (Buzz Patrol)
French DRM law gets ugly (boingboing)
Microsoft Patents Chatting While Watching TV (Gizmodo)

Technorati tags: Web 2.0, PR, Blogs, Websites, Public Relations, Marketing, Advertising, Media

Hey everyone, this is our last post before Scott takes over again tomorrow. We've had a lot of fun doing this, but we're pretty tired too. Between our work, our own blogs and Media Orchard, it's time to pass the baton back.

What have we learned? Well, Media Orchard has lots of loyal readers -- thanks to everyone who commented here and let us know we weren't just talking to ourselves! We also learned how much fun it is to guest host with someone. If nothing else, we've made a new friend and will hopefully be able to do another Bill-and-Andrea collaborative project somewhere down the line.

Finally, we want to announce the Where's Scott? winner. While all the guesses were great -- and very funny and original too -- the person who came closest was Susan Getgood. So, we're asking Susan to please request a prize via the comments section... It's gotta be somewhat reasonable, but otherwise we say, "go for it!" And Scott, being a man of his word (and because he owes us big time), will hopefully honor it.

That's it everyone! Bye!

As Mack Collier of The Viral Garden points out, when Snakes on a Plane opens in August, "the viewers aren't going to see a movie, they are going to watch a product that they helped create."

Along with all the pre-release buzz and community-generated content surrounding Snakes, airlines -- yes, the real ones -- are fielding questions about what their policies are about snakes.

Here, from the Kansas City Star (see full article for the answers to such pressing questions as, "could a snake really get a boarding pass?" and "but what if through some weird fluke -- or some mobster hit man -- you do find yourself on a plane with a snake?") is the real scoop:

American Airlines: No snakes in the cabin; dogs and cats only. Snakes can be shipped as cargo, however, but only by reputable shippers who have security clearance.

United Airlines: No snakes as carry-on; only dogs, cats and household birds -- canaries, finches and parakeets -- allowed in the cabin.

Southwest: No snakes or any other animal on board unless it's a seeing-eye dog or other animal necessary by doctor's order.

US Airways: No snakes anywhere on the plane. Only domestic cats, dogs, birds and tropical fish in the cabin; no animals allowed as cargo.

The map with possible locations for our missing host has been updated. So far, here are the locations we have as taken from the original post. (Someone may be getting warmer.)

France
Herschel Island, Yukon
Indonesia
Palau, Indonesia
Iowa
Israel
New York City
Phuket, Thailand
Serbia
Tibet
Washington, DC

Technorati tags: Journalism, PR, Public Relations, Marketing

Since ESPN occasionally guesses what Larry King would write as one of their sportswriters, we wondered what he'd write for the Orchard. In lieu of pay, we proudly offer Media Orchard branded suspenders. Very sassy. (And Larry, if you're interested, have your people email our people.)

Call me crazy, but this internet thing might actually take off...... Print it: John Wayne wouldn't have a blog...... It may be me, but I think Richard Burkle knew he was being taped..... Anybody else think Wonkette is one hot masthead?...... Forget Paris, Courtney Love would make a great Lucy Ewing in the new Dallas movie...... Mark my words: actual links on websites will be the next big thing...... Take it to the bank: Kevin Federline will be ok...... You heard it here first: if gas prices hit $11 a gallon, oil companies may have to get out in front of this...... Charlie Sheen is a lock for father of the year...... Why don't the Amish do more PR?...... This just in: Rellatio is real.... We've seen the end of Tom Cruise in the papers...... I'm not seeing as many Viagra ads on daytime TV like I used to...... GOOD NIGHT, DALLAS!

Technorati tags: Journalism, PR, Public Relations, Marketing, Richard Burkle, Tom Cruise

First Richard Burkle lets the FBI have their recording party. Now comes word via Breitbart that the NY Post has cooperated with the on-going investigation involving Gov. George Pataki, his wife and others by turning over their taped conversations. Of course, lest we judge, our pledge of quality here at the Orchard is simple: every celebrity is always innocent until proven guilty. Even pseudo celebrities:

Among other things, the recorded conversations featured discussions, often in blunt and graphic terms, about patronage hiring by the Pataki administration. In one conversation, the governor's wife, Libby Pataki complained about the lack of publicity she was receiving.

Joe, who is the Director of Cause & Event Marketing at Boston Medical Center and writes the excellent Selfish Giving blog, wrote me an e-mail asking for feedback on the action items listed on his post about the Boston Medical Center South End Shop Walk, which is scheduled to take place on Saturday, May 6 and aims to raise money for Women's Health programs at BMC.

Rather than just give him my thoughts, I thought I'd pass along his request to all of Media Orchard's readers. I know that many of the readers are PR, marketing and other experienced professionals who would be able to give their expert feedback and advice.

So what do you say, can you help Joe out?

Last week, the The O&A Show was reported to be in line to take over for David Me Roth on 92.3 WXRK in NY, the once vaunted morning time slot vacated by Howard Stern for greener satellite pastures. Via Drudge, I see that it happens this Wednesday, April 26th.

Whether these two shows are your cup of tea is not the point. XM just one-upped Sirius in Satellite Wars II by signing their main competitors. But the bad side is that it establishes a disturbing trend for customers. XM and Sirius both sold their customers on the idea that they had content that wasn't available anywhere else. Guess they were wrong.

I'd be a little upset had I bought XM to get a certain 'exclusive' show and then found out it was going to be on regular radio. If that's the case, then Howard could've pulled off the same deal with CBS and Sirius and ruled both domains, blocking this from even happening. Instead, he used CBS to promo his future gig and build interest in new subscribers.

And, with terrestrial radio seemingly down for the count in major markets, why are Sirius and Stern overlooking a potentially huge market for carrying his show? Internet streaming of his show over the radio either on iTunes or via Sirius.com is a no-brainer. The Stern show is currently not streamed due to contractual obligations with other Sirius shows. Instead, they 'friends of the show' record it off their Sirius receivers and distribute the show for free. The King of Most Media is missing a huge opportunity.

With the signing of O&A, regular radio just got a shot in the arm and may have done something nobody thought it could so soon: build market share because of satellite, not in spite of it.

Technorati tags: Journalism, PR, Public Relations, Marketing, Blogs, Howard Stern, Opie & Anthony, XM radio, satellite radio, CBS

Interview with an identity thief. (Fark)
Media Matters (From the Desk of Patrick J. Fitzgerald)
Global product naming is a pain... (PR Opinions)
Moving hearts and minds (PR meets the WWW)
Blogging about Clients - Part II (Hill and Knowlton)

Technorati tags: Web 2.0, PR, Blogs, Websites, Public Relations, Marketing, Advertising, Media

When Scott asked us to fill in, he did so because he thought Andrea and I would mix our views in with the ones normally found here and enhance things a bit. On her blog she covered a popular topic du jour: the value of blogs. In short, here's where I come out on things: blogs matter. But rather than wear my rant on my sleeve here and risk alienating Scott's audience, I decided to do it at my 'valueless' blog. With a tip of the hat to Guy, I wear the badge of ranter proudly. Read it here.

Technorati tags: PR, Public Relations, Marketing

Now you've got a, umm, legitimate excuse to dip into those jelly beans.

According to a U.C. Davis Health System news release, researchers are studying the effectiveness of different forms of carbohydrate supplementation (sports drinks, gels and jelly beans) on the performance of 16 endurance athletes.

Who's funding the study? The Jelly Belly Candy Company. But wait, these aren't just any old jelly beans. They're sport beans. The helpful people at Jelly Belly even provide you with a sample menu that recommends, what else, one bag of Sport Beans Jelly Beans for your midday workout. Uh-huh.

Technorati tags: Journalism, PR, Public Relations, Marketing

Apparently George is jealous of Tom Cruise being theKing of the Whacky Headline.

I'm a terrible driver'' - while blaming Sir Elton John for his recent troubles.

You've been doing this blogging thing for a while now. You've found your groove, you've developed an online network and you actually have readers (ok, twelve or so -- but they're really loyal).

Before you get too full of yourself, take this 8-question quiz (via Tech PR Gems) on How Much Do You Know About Blogging? to see if you're a genuine blog hotshot.

And if, umm, you only score 6 out of 8, well, it's probably time to drink from the humility pond again.

Technorati tags: Journalism, PR, Public Relations, Marketing, Blogs

Although the Mavs came up short tonight in their final regular season game, fans were treated to a surprise: each fan got a free airline ticket from sponsor American Airlines. From a fan POV, that's pretty cool, and Mark Cuban shows why he cares about fans more than most owners. From an airline perspective though? I hope Mark paid for this because if you can't afford to pass out an extra bag of peanuts, how can you afford to do this? Anyone at the game tonight, we'd love to hear about it. The closest airplane-related freebie I get at a sporting event is the noise of the jets flying over Giants Stadium.

Technorati tags: Mark Cuban, Dallas Mavericks, Journalism, PR, Public Relations, Marketing

Just a reminder to any new people stopping by Media Orchard: Scott is away in some hidden location while Andrea and myself have been filling in. So any comments we make which you may not agree with, well, Scott can take the blame for them later.

So this week in our next round of Googlefights, we have a couple of heavyweight celebrities going at it. As Mills Lane, my favorite boxing referee would say, "Let's get it on!" (Winners in bold.)

- Tom Cruise (34,700,000 results) vs. Paris Hilton (55,600,000 results)

- Richard Burkle (354,000 results) vs. Jared Paul Stern (810,000 results)

- Barry Bonds (18,600,000 results) vs. Mel Gibson (17,500,000 results)

And of course, the obligatory human vs. naked animal match-up, chosen at random:

- Paris Hilton (55,600,000 results) vs. a naked lemur (125,000 results)

And Kevin Federline? Still owned:

- Paris Hilton (55,600,000 results) vs. Keven Federline (2,530,000 results)

K-Fed. Ouch.

Technorati tags: Web 2.0, PR, Blogs, Websites, Public Relations, Marketing, Advertising, Media, Richard Burkle, Jared Paul Stern, Tom Cruise, Barry Bonds, Paris Hilton, Keven Federline

• Growing Bolder (from Advertising to Baby Boomers)
• Old media vs New media (from The Viral Garden)
• Explaining evolution to a six-year old (from Marketing Roadmaps)
• How to make use of a camera phone (from planet sab)

I came across an article from a designer, Debbie Millman, who lost it with a client and basically told them off. For creatives, it's usually something we think about, but almost always save for later and take out on the nearest victim, in most cases, that would be the account group of course. I don't mean a heated discussion between people trying to make the work better either. That's different and it happens a lot.

What I mean is really let the client have it, even though it could result in the loss of client.

I'm partly curious if that's something in the PR world that's just as taboo, or does it happen more frequently. Reason I ask is that my view of PR is that clients either come to you for ways to promote themselves ahead of time, or for damage control when something goes wrong after the fact, and your advice may mean the difference between public accolades - or a public hanging.

It's that latter situation of damage control that would seem to me to be the more stressful time where tempers may flare depending on that situation. Things such as lives being at stake after a food tampering scare, political fallout from a scandal or Barry Bonds refusing to work with puppies. Things like that.

So for PR folk, (and anyone else), ever lose it and tell a client off?

Technorati tags: Web 2.0, PR, Blogs, Websites, Public Relations, Marketing, Advertising, Media

Note to upcoming religions, movements, etc. If you're trying to gain widepsread acceptance for your beliefs, you might consider staying under the 'bizarre statement radar' for a while. Just a thought. Apologies to Andrea, as I'm not trying to counter her thoughtful post with quotes from a madman, but how prescient of her was it to post on Obsession with celebrity yesterday, and along comes Mr. Cruise to prove the point.

How can we not be obsessed with headlines like this:

Mission Impossible star Cruise vows to eat placenta after birth

I've said it before, I'll say it again. When it comes to Tom, this stuff writes itself kids. No comments from Scientology followers either saying I'm knocking the religion. I'm not. Tom's doing that all by himself with statements like that.

Relating it to Scott's recent situation for a sec, Mr. Cruise is my Strumpette. Please, Tom, make movies, not quotes. Bet his PR person is probably on craig's list right about now looking for a career change. Imagine being a fly on the wall when the PR person took that call:

"He said what?"

Technorati tags: Journalism, PR, Public Relations, Marketing, Tom Cruise, Scientology

• Europe to American companies: Stop making so much money (Motley Fool via Fark)
• Man ticketed for using device to change red lights to green (C'mon, give the guy some credit for trying. Fark.)
• A Few Good Salesmen (LINK FIXED. Funny take on the classic Tom vs. Jack scene. Via myspace)
• Blogging: The new public relations (Media by Sistrunk)

Paige Ferrari, a young freelance writer, blog author (check out the funny post So You Wanna: Be An I-Banker Girlfriend) and MSNBC contributor just wrote an amusing, tongue-in-cheek commentary on why Gwyneth Paltrow makes us all feel unworthy.

But the most telling part of her commentary, at least to me, was this:

I like my celebrities like the band Confederate Railroad likes their women:
just a little on the trashy side....

But alas, as the years go by, Gwyneth continues to offend me with her
moderation and restraint -- two qualities I inherently distrust in
celebrities.