SAVVIS (or is it Savvis?), the St. Louis company that got hit with a lawsuit by American Express after the CEO refused to pay a $241,000 tab at the New York strip-club Scores, issued a statement in the form of a letter today.

Here’s my 10-minute critique: The missive says little and will be ignored. It’s framed as an apology, but doesn’t actually include an apology. It’s also too long by at least a third.

I was taught never to criticize without suggesting, so here’s a rewrite, free of charge:

To Our Customers, Employees and Shareholders:

This is a difficult time for SAVVIS. I know that you share my dismay over the details of our current litigation with American Express. While SAVVIS believes it will prevail in this lawsuit, we recognize that our CEO’s personal conduct has caused embarrassment.

On behalf of SAVVIS’ Board of Directors and management team, I apologize.

In the week since the Board asked me to serve as Acting Chief Executive Officer, I have talked individually and in small groups with hundreds of company employees, customers and shareholders. I have asked them how this incident has affected their perception of SAVVIS, and what I can do to set things right.

Virtually everyone I’ve talked to has given me the same marching orders: Be honest, be direct, and put this distraction behind SAVVIS as quickly as possible.

That’s exactly what we intend to do.

I have been encouraged by the heartfelt support I have received from all quarters — particularly from our employees. This company’s people, at all levels, have a passionate desire to reaffirm the true character — the good character — of SAVVIS to our customers and other stakeholders.

We will come back stronger from this; after talking with you over the past week, I have no doubt about that.

Sincerely,

Jack Finlayson

As a longtime Dallasite, lifelong NBA fan and Mavericks season ticket holder, I have great respect for Mark Cuban. Now Mark has turned to my preferred medium — the blogosphere — to solve a Mavs marketing quandary. As he described the challenge on Blog Maverick:

Finding a replacement to “RockNRoll Part 2″ by Gary Glitter to play at the Mavs games. You know the song. The “hey” song. The song that everyone in sports stole from the NHL, who stole it from who knows who. This isn’t a cure for world peace issue. But it’s one of those things that drive me crazy …

Maybe the blogosphere can help … I need at least one song that is simple, has few or no words, is short and will automatically cause 20k people to stand, clap and shout in unison.

Since Mark posted his request last Thursday, he has received 168 comments with suggestions from readers. That’s cost-efficient market research.

I’ll throw some free advice into the hat: go with “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba. I know, I know — too many words. But it would get people on their feet.

(FYI: The photo of this year’s starting five is by Michael Mulvey of The Dallas Morning News.)

Technorati tags: Marketing, Dallas

Thanks to Pierce Mattie Public Relations for this fun bit of Photoshop magic.

As a general rule, Media Orchard attempts to be as nonpartisan as possible, because we believe that labels like “Republican” and “Democrat,” “Red State” and “Blue State” are a lazy shorthard that often hinders reasoned discussion of important issues.

But because we’re history buffs, this Fox News Channel parody was just too funny not to post.

If it makes FNC loyalists feel any better, Media Orchard has criticized CNN using a similar approach in the past.

Is this picture a duck or a rabbit?

Trick question: it’s both.

Thomas Kuhn used the illusion to help explain his concept of the paradigm shift in his 1962 book The Structure of Scientific Revolutions.

Since then, a bunch of MBAs have dragged this catchy phrase in front of every venture capitalist and across every nook and cranny of Wall Street — working very hard to render it meaningless.

I had hoped, after the 2000-2001 crash of so many “paradigm-shifting” business models, the legacy of poor Thomas Kuhn might be cut some slack.

But no…

From a story in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, “Creating buzz, one peer at a time” —

In an age when the college demographic is no longer easily reached by television, radio or newspapers — as TiVo, satellite radio, iPods and the Internet crowd out the traditional advertising venues — a microindustry of campus marketing has emerged. Niche firms have sprung up to act as recruiters of students, who then market products on campus for companies such as Microsoft, JetBlue Airways, The Cartoon Network and Victoria’s Secret.

“There is a paradigm shift in the way that corporations are marketing to college students,” said Matt Britton, a managing partner of Mr. Youth, a New York-based firm that specializes in college student marketing. “The student ambassador tactic embraces all the elements that corporations find most effective: It’s peer-to-peer, it’s word of mouth, it’s flexible and it breaks through the clutter of other media. For all that, it’s growing very quickly.”

By the estimate of leading youth marketing firms, tens of thousands of students work as campus ambassadors nationwide.

OK, Matt, I get it: it’s peer-to-peer, it’s word of mouth, it’s flexible.

But is it best of breed?

Is it scalable?

Is it an enterprise solution?

Ugh.